There are about twenty-million outdoor brands on the planet and the reality is their names try to inspire us to see the big adventure ahead ... that sometimes doesn't work out that well 😉 Here are my bad takes on various brand names and the associations they spark.
⚠ Warning! Dad-jokes ahead! ⚠
- 66° North - Hands down! That's Finnish vodka!
- Salomon - Careful with your kids. They might get chopped up.
- Kathmandu - Stinking city which feels like driving Mario Cart on weed.
- Patagonia - Sometimes it works out really well but most of the time it's windy, rainy, foggy, cold, muddy and miserable.
- Jack Wolfskin - Dates back to the Celtic tribes who dressed in animal skins served a painful defeat to the Roman Empire at the Battle of the Teutoburg Forest. Not really useful these days.
- Arc'teryx - Old extinct glorified roasted chicken. Don't confuse it with the mighty bin-chicken - that'd be a hotel chain
- Mountain Hardware - Are you sure about this? Feels really soft ...
- Marmot - Awwww the cute little fluffy hearts of the mountains.
- Icebreaker - Just imagine a Russian captain on the bridge of his nuclear powered vessel having some sips/gulps of 66° North.
- Berghaus - Some random pommy wanted to sound German-cool and didn't realise we call it Berghütte. #fail
- Hyperlite Mountain Gear - this is ... surprisingly honest!
- Quechua - The sound a cane-toad makes when you pitch a tent on top of it (intentionally or not)
I know I know! Terrible. Not funny. I'll see myself out ...